Mohican.
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Post by Mohican. on May 31, 2016 4:07:18 GMT
in the sense of 'heylo, how are you? are you gay?' pt.2 This thread is for all Lesbian, Gay, Gender Queer, Bisexual and Transgender users we have or may have over here. And for everyone else who wants in, be a part of the movement and discussions on every-day-basis. This may not only be a chit-chatting-thread, but one to exchange dreams and daily curcumstances. Are you feeling good with who you are? Any fears accompanying you? How open (& proud) are you? Discuss whatever buisness you feel like: - gender politics (in a friendly and respectful manner!)
- Rights you may want to get pushed through
- How you came out, how you plan to
- everyday thoughts on LG(Q)BT-topics
- events, new publications, studies and so on
Let's have some fun discussing and celebrating the minority!
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Mohican.
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Post by Mohican. on May 31, 2016 4:32:08 GMT
I'll make the start. Obviously. I know we have a couple of lesbians and gay here, as well as bisexuals and maybe some queer or trans people, too? I miss the old 'heylo, how are you? Are you gay'-thread, because it was a good opportunity to exchange thoughts on this topic. The LG(Q)BT rights and lifestyle is quite different from country to country and it feels good being connected over the internet. Of course there are LB(Q)BT-platforms, but I think it's good to not shut yourself from the 'rest' of society, but be right in it.
I identify myself as a lesbian. I came out a real while ago, but coming out to people is something that never ends. You have to constantly out yourself to people you newly meet. I personally don't really care. I am pretty open and comfortable in my own skin, but I know that in some countries homosexuality is still a dark road to conquer.
If people over here feel comfortable to out themself, it would be fun to know who's who, but of course you should not be pressured to leave your comfort- zone.
I personally get more and more wrapped up in the queer-theories recentely. A girl I met a while ago identifies herself as queer and before I met her, I was not that involved in gender-studies and theories in general. I was not a big thinker anyway. She opened me up a little, gently, but that policy works wonders sometimes. Something that really crushed my mind while we were talking a while ago: we are kinda and hopefully aiming for something more serious and I asked her how she got involved with queer and how exactly she identifies herself. (I hope some of you are familiar with the term queer? If not, I can explain a bit more, too- if anyone or some are interested) She got really serious and maybe even a bit sad. She asked me if that was something I could be cool with. I told her how important I think it is, that you are happy in your own skin, cause when you are you transport it on the outside. I told her that I don't care who she or what she is as long as she's happy. Apparently that is something queer-people rarely hear. Even within the communty. I think that's no good and it makes me sad, too. Acceptance should be provided! So while being flushed by the term queer, I started to dig and find out more about these queer-stuff and I can recommend 'Gender Troubles' by J. Butler. I don't know if some of you have heard of it or even read it? I could imagine identifying myself as queer too at some point. It really makes sense to me.
What do you guys think about queer? Or do you wanna share any other topics?
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Post by Deleted on May 31, 2016 4:57:36 GMT
Thank you for creating this safe place for this type of discussion!!!!
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sam
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Post by sam on May 31, 2016 15:23:28 GMT
I completely forgot about this thread! (shame on me) thank you for making it again don't think I posted much in the old LGBT thread, mainly because I had only just come out. I won't go into details on my coming out- it's just something I don't want to share. But everyone has accepted me (as they should) When I was younger I was attracted to girls and that was that- I was pretty sure I was 100% straight back then but I always had feelings about guys in the back of my mind. As I turned into my early teenage years (late teenage now) I started to like girls less and less and I actually maintained that I was bi for a very long time- it was only a few months ago that I actually accepted than I am in fact gay (hi marliz) Being gay is really difficult though in my experience, I just wish more people were accepting and things were alot easier for us- it's something we can't help and we shouldn't be penalised for that; it is ridiculous. Despite what I said above about initially being more or less straight, I still maintain the belief that you're born gay, I think I was just finding myself at the time. Tip: Don't be an idiot and develop crushes on straight guys like i do.
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Post by Becky on May 31, 2016 16:09:28 GMT
I'm not gay but I find it interesting listening to other people's stories - there are things I don't quite understand (as I don't feel those things) such as non-binary, but I find it really fascinating hearing how people are different to me because I've known nothing else.
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Post by Deleted on May 31, 2016 18:37:16 GMT
So I'm asexual and aromantic. X'D Unless you count fictional characters because I get crushes on those all the flipping time. This is one of the things I knew about myself since I was little. So I've happily never dated or anything. ouo In middle school I was in fact bullied both verbally and physically for being effeminate and liking feminine things. Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Avril Lavigne, and Sailor Moon were and still are some of my favorite things. The colors I like aren't traditional "boy" colors. I don't know if you guys remember the soundcloud clips of myself singing a few years back on here, but I freaking sound like a little girl (proudly a mezzo-soprano X'D). I guess moral of the story is... Always be yourself. People are going to bitter and hateful. But continue to be yourself reguardless. And you don't HAVE to label yourself. If you identify with one of the things and you want an easy way to communicate to people who you are if they ask, then go ahead. However, I personally always choose to be undefinable.
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Mohican.
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Post by Mohican. on Jun 1, 2016 6:47:29 GMT
I completely forgot about this thread! (shame on me) thank you for making it again don't think I posted much in the old LGBT thread, mainly because I had only just come out. I won't go into details on my coming out- it's just something I don't want to share. But everyone has accepted me (as they should) When I was younger I was attracted to girls and that was that- I was pretty sure I was 100% straight back then but I always had feelings about guys in the back of my mind. As I turned into my early teenage years (late teenage now) I started to like girls less and less and I actually maintained that I was bi for a very long time- it was only a few months ago that I actually accepted than I am in fact gay (hi marliz) Being gay is really difficult though in my experience, I just wish more people were accepting and things were alot easier for us- it's something we can't help and we shouldn't be penalised for that; it is ridiculous. Despite what I said above about initially being more or less straight, I still maintain the belief that you're born gay, I think I was just finding myself at the time. Tip: Don't be an idiot and develop crushes on straight guys like i do. Ha, you are kinda telling my story, just the other way around, except that I never thought I was straight, but bisexual. I never found myself weird for that and being gay wouldn't have been a problem for me either, but I always told myself that I wanna fall in love with the person rather than the sex. (Now I say I rather wanna fall in love with the person rather than the gender- but in fact it's the feminine ones that get me:P ) It took me years to 'accept' that I only like girls. And believe me, I was so damn good at falling for the wrong ones. Either straight or manipulating. Right in a row I was in love with two straigth friends of mine (not at the same time) for 5 years. In fact it took me 24 years to find the first girl (or in her case, person) that didn't play bad tricks on me. So I guess, I get your situation. I also partly say that you are born this w(g)ay, cause it's not something society tells you to become, nor do you get coined to be gay. Liking girls has always been something so natural to me, that I've never found it wrong or twisted. But like you said, it's hard to be out and proud. The girl I'm seeing is quite open (she's into queer and feminist politics and quite out. Let's say I'm usually out and she's outta). Just a while ago, I was sitting at the Spree with her and she kissed me. I could feel the looks of people around us. I don't really care, but it's still an awkward feeling sometimes, cause these looks do not happen when a boy kisses a girl. And I really had had bad discussions about homosexuality before. I'm a strong person and I like to argue, but I know that even here in Germany where everyone says it's so open, you get treated like dirt everyday for being gay. Things could be so much better. I'm not gay but I find it interesting listening to other people's stories - there are things I don't quite understand (as I don't feel those things) such as non-binary, but I find it really fascinating hearing how people are different to me because I've known nothing else. What things are you refering to? And what culture are you embracing? If you don't mind sharing.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 1, 2016 8:54:37 GMT
I'm not gay or bi or transgender, but I just came here to say that I support the LGBT community and this thread.
Like Becky, I find people's stories interesting. And while people's sexuality is generally a non-issue to me, there are definitely some things that are difficult to understand. For example, the whole concept of transgenderism was a VERY steep learning curve for me, but thanks to some intelligent and rational explanations I eventually grasped it. Asexualism is also something I have trouble getting my head around, but I'm working on it. I guess some people just don't have sexual urges at all. "Different" isn't a word I like to use, but some poeple are just wired a certain way and that's that.
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Light02
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Post by Light02 on Jun 1, 2016 17:29:12 GMT
So I'm asexual and aromantic. X'D Unless you count fictional characters because I get crushes on those all the flipping time. This is one of the things I knew about myself since I was little. So I've happily never dated or anything. ouo In middle school I was in fact bullied both verbally and physically for being effeminate and liking feminine things. Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Avril Lavigne, and Sailor Moon were and still are some of my favorite things. The colors I like aren't traditional "boy" colors. I don't know if you guys remember the soundcloud clips of myself singing a few years back on here, but I freaking sound like a little girl (proudly a mezzo-soprano X'D). I guess moral of the story is... Always be yourself. People are going to bitter and hateful. But continue to be yourself reguardless. And you don't HAVE to label yourself. If you identify with one of the things and you want an easy way to communicate to people who you are if they ask, then go ahead. However, I personally always choose to be undefinable. Oh my God, I can't believe there's another asexual here! (But I'm not aromantic, I'm romantically attracted to guys.) That is so cool, yay! I'm not gay or bi or transgender, but I just came here to say that I support the LGBT community and this thread. Like Becky, I find people's stories interesting. And while people's sexuality is generally a non-issue to me, there are definitely some things that are difficult to understand. For example, the whole concept of transgenderism was a VERY steep learning curve for me, but thanks to some intelligent and rational explanations I eventually grasped it. Asexualism is also something I have trouble getting my head around, but I'm working on it. I guess some people just don't have sexual urges at all. "Different" isn't a word I like to use, but some poeple are just wired a certain way and that's that. And I find it really hard to wrap my head around the fact that most people actually do want to have sex, haha. I don't know, asexuality feels like the most natural thing to me, sex doesn't even exist in my head, in my Universe, if nobody reminded me of it I would never even think about it. It's that simple, really.
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Light02
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Post by Light02 on Jun 1, 2016 17:57:36 GMT
I also identify as transgender, specifically non-binary (which means that I don't identify as a man or a woman). If you're wondering how that's possible I'll try to explain it a little bit. I've always (since I was 4) known that I'm not a girl - I just never felt or thought of myself as one. Then when I started going through female puberty I felt more and more "yucky" and just generally very uncomfortable with my body (which is called gender dysphoria) because it was becoming more and more typically female. I hated (and still do) my chest the most. But if I imagine having a male body that gives me the same feelings of dysphoria. I still want to transition in some ways, just not in the ways that trans guys do. I want to go on low dose testosterone for a few months just so I can lower my voice to a more gender-neutral stage (only the change in your voice is permanent when you go on T, at least for the first year. If you stop, everything else goes back to normal.). I want to have a flat chest the most, so getting top surgery is the first thing I'm gonna do. I also wish I didn't have any genitals but that's impossible. So basically, I want to have a sort of a gender-neutral body.
Of course, I'm just talking about myself, non-binary people are not all the same and some might feel differently than me.
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Post by Amanda on Jun 1, 2016 18:01:49 GMT
Such an awesome thread and thank you all for sharing guys, it's a bold step And just like you Mohican I was first very unaware of everyhing beyond sexualities, but now i've educated myself a whole lot more so to me theres no weird things about asexuality or transgenderism or queer-theories for me. When I was younger I even thought I was asexual, because I was never interested in either talking about boys or girls. Mainly boys, since when I was younger and in a small town, there was no LGQBT people around me in my community. But I think when I was around 12-13 I realized that I prefered girls and ever since that to like 1 year ago or 2 years ago it's been a battle to myself because my whole family and also cousins etc and people in my small town is very much against it. Haven't come out to my family or anything and I honestly don't think I will until many years, and for example I have no interest neither in talking to cousins or my bigger family because I have very little contact with them so it makes no sense for me to open up about such a personal matter for me. I mean they barley know my hobbies so why should they know about my love-life haha.Only thing bothering me is society aswell as hiding from parents and siblings, as it's something I have to do. Don't want to get into details of why. I'm even a bit nervous writing this here just because i'm afraid by some magical powers this info will reach my family, which it no way in hell can hahhaa.. (my parents doesnt even know how to google anything haha).
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Post by Amanda on Jun 1, 2016 18:06:58 GMT
On the topic of LGQBT I'm actually very proud of sweden (lol that's a first haha), because it was the first country to have same sex marriages and it's generally pretty good at working against homophobia. Of course there's homophobia here; and even worse for transgenders etc, but it's not socially accepted here to for example in a tv show say something homophobic.
And I know from my Brazilian friends there was a huge politic war in their county after one advert used a same sex couple, whereas in Sweden you kind of see same sex couples very often in ads and tv commercials etc just as straight couples. So it's also interesting to see how all countries are moving at different speeds when it comes to accepting.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 1, 2016 18:32:24 GMT
I also identify as transgender, specifically non-binary (which means that I don't identify as a man or a woman). If you're wondering how that's possible I'll try to explain it a little bit. I've always (since I was 4) known that I'm not a girl - I just never felt or thought of myself as one. Then when I started going through female puberty I felt more and more "yucky" and just generally very uncomfortable with my body (which is called gender dysphoria) because it was becoming more and more typically female. I hated (and still do) my chest the most. But if I imagine having a male body that gives me the same feelings of dysphoria. I still want to transition in some ways, just not in the ways that trans guys do. I want to go on low dose testosterone for a few months just so I can lower my voice to a more gender-neutral stage (only the change in your voice is permanent when you go on T, at least for the first year. If you stop, everything else goes back to normal.). I want to have a flat chest the most, so getting top surgery is the first thing I'm gonna do. I also wish I didn't have any genitals but that's impossible. So basically, I want to have a sort of a gender-neutral body. Of course, I'm just talking about myself, non-binary people are not all the same and some might feel differently than me. Can I ask what pronouns you prefer to be called by? Do you prefer he or she, him or her? From my perspective, calling you "it" or "that" or even "them" would seem extremely rude. Maybe that's just a thing with the English language, I don't know. All I know is gender neutrality presents an issue for me when it comes to being polite.
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Post by Amanda on Jun 1, 2016 18:35:42 GMT
I also identify as transgender, specifically non-binary (which means that I don't identify as a man or a woman). If you're wondering how that's possible I'll try to explain it a little bit. I've always (since I was 4) known that I'm not a girl - I just never felt or thought of myself as one. Then when I started going through female puberty I felt more and more "yucky" and just generally very uncomfortable with my body (which is called gender dysphoria) because it was becoming more and more typically female. I hated (and still do) my chest the most. But if I imagine having a male body that gives me the same feelings of dysphoria. I still want to transition in some ways, just not in the ways that trans guys do. I want to go on low dose testosterone for a few months just so I can lower my voice to a more gender-neutral stage (only the change in your voice is permanent when you go on T, at least for the first year. If you stop, everything else goes back to normal.). I want to have a flat chest the most, so getting top surgery is the first thing I'm gonna do. I also wish I didn't have any genitals but that's impossible. So basically, I want to have a sort of a gender-neutral body. Of course, I'm just talking about myself, non-binary people are not all the same and some might feel differently than me. Can I ask what pronouns you prefer to be called by? Do you prefer he or she, him or her? From my perspective, calling you "it" or "that" or even "them" would seem extremely rude. Maybe that's just a thing with the English language, I don't know. All I know is gender neutrality presents an issue for me when it comes to being polite. English really should add a word for it, because as you say, i think it or that also sounds rude. But perhaps not "them", because if i'm not wrong, them can also be used to girls and boys. In a more formal way. It's very smart in swedish because here for him we say han, for her we say hon, so for it/that we say hen. I've also heard americans saying "shim /she him" as a word, but I don't know if that's a word used to be mean (for example like tranny or fag...).
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Light02
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Post by Light02 on Jun 1, 2016 18:57:27 GMT
I also identify as transgender, specifically non-binary (which means that I don't identify as a man or a woman). If you're wondering how that's possible I'll try to explain it a little bit. I've always (since I was 4) known that I'm not a girl - I just never felt or thought of myself as one. Then when I started going through female puberty I felt more and more "yucky" and just generally very uncomfortable with my body (which is called gender dysphoria) because it was becoming more and more typically female. I hated (and still do) my chest the most. But if I imagine having a male body that gives me the same feelings of dysphoria. I still want to transition in some ways, just not in the ways that trans guys do. I want to go on low dose testosterone for a few months just so I can lower my voice to a more gender-neutral stage (only the change in your voice is permanent when you go on T, at least for the first year. If you stop, everything else goes back to normal.). I want to have a flat chest the most, so getting top surgery is the first thing I'm gonna do. I also wish I didn't have any genitals but that's impossible. So basically, I want to have a sort of a gender-neutral body. Of course, I'm just talking about myself, non-binary people are not all the same and some might feel differently than me. Can I ask what pronouns you prefer to be called by? Do you prefer he or she, him or her? From my perspective, calling you "it" or "that" or even "them" would seem extremely rude. Maybe that's just a thing with the English language, I don't know. All I know is gender neutrality presents an issue for me when it comes to being polite. I like both he and she pronouns, so don't worry, there's no way to get it wrong with me! I understand that using the word "them" to refer to someone might seem unnatural to you but there are many non-binary people who prefer that pronoun and to them it would seem much more impolite if you refused to call them that. I also know that some people feel like "them" is plural and cannot or should not be used in the singular but just look at the word "you" - it could refer to one person or a group of people, so I don't see why a similar change can't be made for they/them.
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