My gosh, all your stories are so interesting! Loved reading that =)
Well, here’s mine:
Before I start: I wasn’t really interested in music until I was about 9 years old. Before that I would always listen to any song without knowing or caring who the artist was. The first artist I became a fan of was a German singer who made some kind of gothic rock. But never actively followed her, not like I follow(ed) Avril. After two years or so I lost interest in her because I started becoming more and more interested in Avril. There was also this time when I would listen to all these Disney artists but eventually I lost interest in them too. Avril was always my #1.
Now the full story:
I think the first time I noticed Avril I was around 7 years old. That was back in
2004, so she had already released LG and UMS. I remember sitting in front of the TV, watching some German TV channel on which they air music videos. One of these music videos was “Complicated”. I totally adored it, it was so funny and I loved the song too, but I had no idea who that singer was. I remember thinking to myself “I have to write down her name once they show the credits at the end of the video”, and I think I actually did that, but I must have lost the paper…
Anyway, although I had loved that song and music video I quickly forgot about it.
Then, almost three years later, in
2007, Avril caught my attention again, obviously with “Girlfriend”. I didn’t realize she was the same girl I had seen on TV three years before. Like I said, I had quite completely forgotten about “Complicated”. But back to GF: I was 9 at that time, and I remember how much I loved this song and this music video. My then best friend had the song on her MP3 player, and in school we would always spend the break listening to music together, so I would always ask her to play GF. Eventually I got TBDT for my 10th birthday (May 2007). From that day on I listened to that album over and over again. I simply loved it. Every single song. I would always dance around in my room while listening to it on full volume haha
. But somehow I never managed to memorize the songs properly. I would never know if the song being played right now was “I Can Do Better” or “Runaway”. I didn’t know the lyrics either. That was before I became interested in learning English properly.
Then, some time in
2008, I heard a song on the radio that I thought sounded like another Avril song, similar to “Innocence”. I checked out “Innocence” at home but realized it hadn’t been the song I’d heard on the radio. I wasn’t even sure if it really had been an Avril song. But I think that was the first time I googled something connected to Avril. I had hardly ever used the internet before then. But that’s how I found out that Avril already had two other albums, and one of them had these two songs listed that seemed so familiar. They were “Complicated” and “Sk8er Boi”. I listened to these songs and with a huge bang realized that I had already loved “Complicated” four years ago. I had finally found / remembered who that amazing girl was! I then listened to the whole album and recognized “Sk8er Boi” as well. I definitely had heard it on the radio before. The other songs were all new to me (I’m not sure about IWY, though, I think that sounded familiar too). Soon I bought LG and I loved this album too. My English being quite bad back then I had real difficulty reading these lyrics in that booklet. I remember trying to copy them in my own hand writing. By now I know that half the stuff I wrote down was completely wrong, were actually no English words at all haha.
Some time later, in
2008 / 2009, I bought UMS. I don’t know what made me buy the album at that exact time. I just know that when I had found out about Avril having two more records I wanted both of them. So yeah, I bought UMS, but I was a bit disappointed and I remember thinking at some point that I probably shouldn’t have bought it. You should know, back then I would listen to music like this: check out the intro, if that was good the chorus, and if that was good too the whole song. I loved “He Wasn’t” back then a lot, and I wanted more songs like this one, more rock songs. But every song on UMS didn’t start as rock-ish. Except “Freak Out”, but after the intro the song became boring to me.
Then one day I pulled myself together and said to myself “come on, this is Avril, this has to be good. You bought this album with your own money. Don’t let it have been wasted. Give the album a try and listen to all the songs properly.” And that’s what I did. And OMG I so regretted ever thinking I shouldn’t have bought this album! I was blown away. It was even better than LG and TBDT.
Over the next few months I kept listening to Avril’s music every single day. I also started using the internet and started trying to find out stuff about her. I found out about Abbey Dawn and I remember being extremely disappointed about it not being available in Germany. I started watching videos on YouTube and found a lot of b-sides and unreleased songs. Then I read about Avril’s plans on releasing a fragrance. I had never been interested in stuff like that, but damn, it was Avril. I think I was quite obsessed by then. I got Black Star for Christmas
2009. Then in March
2010 Avril released “Alice”. I loved that music video and that song, and that was when I wanted to learn how to play the piano. Just so I could play this song. But where to get the sheet music? My mum told me that some artists have so-called songbooks and I immediately googled if there were some songbooks for Avril’s songs too. And there were. I somehow got stuck on the UMS songbook. I think I really wanted to learn how to play “Together” and “Forgotten” (I couldn’t find sheet music for “Alice”). So I asked my parents if I could get it for Easter. And I did. However, my mum bought the wrong version, the one with guitar tablature in it. I had never played the guitar before. But my sister had a guitar; she had played the guitar for about a year or so but then dropped it, and now she didn’t need it anymore. So I took it and started to teach the whole stuff myself. The intro of “Nobody’s Home” was one of the very first things I managed to teach myself. And a short time later my mum found a piano teacher for me to teach me how to play the piano.
So, by then (2010), Avril had not only become the first artist I would actively follow and watch YouTube videos of, she had also inspired me to start playing the guitar and the piano.
I read a lot about a 4th album, a lot of false rumours too. I was so excited for it and so angry that they kept delaying it. But then WTH was finally released. I downloaded it on Jan. 1st
2011 and listened to it 28 times in a row. I would always get goose bumps when she would sing this “La la la la la la la la whoa whoa”. And in March, GL was finally released. This was the first era that I had really followed / was following. I loved this era, these WTH.tv videos and I was so excited when I realized that a girl in my class loved Avril too. When Avril announced The Black Star Tour I decided I would do anything to go to a show if she would come to Germany. And then one day I read about it on the teletext: Avril would come to Cologne! And it would be her only Black Star Tour concert in Germany. Cologne is about 4 hours away from where I live, but luckily my parents both said I could go, and my dad would escort me. However, the concert would be on a Monday, when I would have school till 3:40 pm (the concert would start at 7 pm). My parents thought it would be best to ask my headmistress if I could skip afternoon school. I think we had some good arguments: I would only miss two lessons; it was only the second week after the summer holidays, so I definitely wouldn’t miss anything too important; and even if I was tired the next day it wouldn’t matter, as the following day would be a hiking day. But my headmistress wouldn’t allow it. I was so angry and sad, especially because I knew from some classmates that they had been allowed to skip school to go to concerts or something before. And we had already bought the tickets. My parents saw how sad I was and decided to try it this way: I would go to school, including afternoon school, and then my dad would pick me up at school at 3:40 pm and we would try driving to Cologne as fast as possible. It was risky. As I said, the concert would start at 7 pm, and the journey would take 4 hours, traffic jams etc. not included. But we were extremely lucky. There was not a single traffic jam. My dad and I arrived in Cologne at about 7:30 pm. I had missed the opening act but I hadn’t cared about that anyway. I only wanted to see Avril.
So there we were, I even had enough time to buy a poster and a T-shirt. The concert hall itself was, of course, already completely crowded; there was no chance getting near the stage. But I didn’t care about that either. I don’t like such masses of people anyway. I think at around 8 pm the lights finally went out and Avril came on stage. It was the best time ever. It felt like a dream. I could hardly see anything. There were hundreds of heads in front of me blocking the view. The stage was small, there were no screens at all, and there were some kind of pillars in the hall that blocked the view as well. I think I only spotted Avril three or four times. But my dad had my camera and he filmed a lot of the show and took a lot of pictures. And I could still hear Avril, obviously. The performance of IWY was phenomenal. Avril would let the whole crowd sing the beginning of the last chorus. Four times in a row. Without instruments. Just the crowd. It was indescribable.
I have no memory of how long the concert was. It all felt like a dream. On the way home I couldn’t do anything except sit in the car and stare out of the window. I could still hear Avril’s voice inside my head. I wanted to memorize it for ever. At 2 am or so we arrived at home. I was extremely tired but still way too excited to go to sleep. Eventually I went to bed at 4 am or so. And the next day I went to school, on this f*cking hiking day. And I wore my Black Star Tour shirt for everyone to see. It felt so amazing.
From that moment on I was such a huge fan that I knew, even if Avril would ever do something like change her musical style completely, I would always be a fan. I wasn’t just a fan of her music anymore. I was a fan of her.
The same year some things happened that brought me even closer to Avril. I’ve always had trouble in school, there had always been these teachers who wouldn’t accept me the way I was. They wouldn’t accept me being sick so often (I’ve pretty much always had some mental health issues that made life really difficult for me, and sometimes I simply wouldn’t have any strength left to go to school), kept saying my grades weren’t good enough (they weren’t that good but neither that bad). They would put me under extreme pressure, making my mental health issues even worse.
In 2010 or so this got worse, mainly because we got a new headmistress who, unlike the former one, agreed with these stupid teachers and put me under pressure as well.
In 2011 it became worse than ever. I just didn’t fit in. None of the teachers would accept me the way I was. They would put me under terrible pressure, worse than ever. Avril helped me a lot at that time. She literally saved me. I would always listen to “Nobdoy’s Fool” while walking to my class room. It gave me strength. Listening to this song always helped me fight. It helped me think “I will not change for you. Never. I am not your fool!”
Eventually I changed school. Luckily. Although I didn’t want to for fear of losing my friends I now know it was definitely the right decision. After that everything got better. Slowly, but it did get better. For the first time since I could remember I was at a school where I didn’t have to fear the teachers or the headmistress. I didn’t find any friends there, but I didn’t care about that very much. As long as I was accepted I was okay. And anyway, Avril was always there for me… =)
Nothing really happened in 2012 but in
2013 Avril announced HTNGU. And I was kinda scared when I heard the first snippet. It included nothing more than this “Oh whoa oh” from the chorus. And the colours were all rainbow, like some party stuff. And it didn’t sound like her. There was way too much autotune. When the song was released, however, I really liked it and played it over and over again. Every day when I would walk from the train station to school. When RnR was released I loved it even more. And that guitar solo! But I was also a little angry about the album release being postponed again and again and again. But as we all know, eventually it was released in November. Weeks before the album was released I had decided not to listen to “Hello Heartache”, “You Ain’t Seen Nothin’ Yet” and “Hello Kitty” until I would hold the album in my own hands. After a snippet of HK was released and everyone was talking about it, I couldn’t resist, however, and listened to the song. I then decided not to listen to GYWYL instead until I’d hold the album in hands (although I had already heard a snippet). I actually managed to do that. And I would always do it again! It was amazing listening to these three songs for the first time while already being able to hold the booklet in hands. But I liked “Bad Girl” the most. I liked this rock beat and these rock guitars. I soon decided I needed more rock music like this. But “He Wasn’t” and “Sk8er Boi” were the only rock songs by Avril that were fast and happy and that I loved. So I started looking for other rock artists. This brought me away from AL and also made me realize that “Bad Girl” isn’t even such a good rock song. I still love the song, but in good rock music there is much more drum action and the guitars sound better too. And I also realized that that guitar solo in RnR isn’t that great either, at least compared to rock music by actual rock artists.
So yeah, that was when I started listening to rock music, then punk-rock music, then post-hardcore, and it made me realize more and more how bad AL’s production was. I got very disappointed about the album and stopped listening to Avril for a while. I still loved her and her other albums, but I had already listened countless times to her other stuff, and I wanted something new that was good. For a while I almost lost interest in Avril because I was so obsessed with my rock music, but in the end it was just like that: how could I ever lose interest in someone I’ve been a fan of for 7 years?
And well, in the end I never lost interest in her. Of course not, otherwise I wouldn’t be here on BA. But I am not as obsessed with her as I used to be. For one thing because I grew out of being so obsessed about anything. I’m not this kid anymore that freaks out about every little article about Avril. I don’t love every little thing she does, I can criticize her in a quite objective way, e.g. I don’t like every single song of her just because it’s hers. I am simply more mature in being a fan. And for another thing because my musical style has changed over the years. I always liked rock but I also always liked pop. By now I definitely prefer rock over pop, and punk-rock and post-hardcore are my favourite kinds of rock music. Avril is actually the only pop artist I listen to. But I still love her music, even though it’s more pop. I’m still a huge fan of her and will always be. I grew up with her. And this is a feeling no one and nothing can ever replace.
Sorry for this terribly long essay