ben545
Member
MOTM March '16 - Banned
“If you ever need anything please don’t hesitate to ask someone else first.” Kurt Cobain
Join Date: Jun 28, 2015 9:36:36 GMT
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Post by ben545 on Jul 30, 2019 5:43:08 GMT
Really struggling today to not go out and buy some cannabis on my day off. I love everything about cannabis. Some people can't stand the smell or it makes them paranoid and they don't like it. I love the smell of cannabis, I feel more paranoid when I don't smoke it. I love going to visit my dealer who is always in a jolly mood as if he has the best job in the world. I love all the rastafarian culture that comes along with my rasta dealer. I love getting my bag of weed back home, putting it in the grinder and grinding it up so it all fluffs up and seems to double in size. I love loading up a pipe and smoking it and waiting for the slow onset of being stoned to take effect. Then when I'm stoned it feels like a life enhancing experience. Life feels better stoned. I love doing anything stoned, it makes me happy. I don't feel lonely or needy in any way. I just feel satisfied and happy. I can go out on my bike and sit in the park watching the world go by or watch TV at home. I can do anything and I'm happy and thankful for the free time I have away from work but unfortunately I've had to give all of that up.... Yep! It's illegal and condemned by society so I have to give it up. It funds crime and unfortunately there's probably some poor bastard somewhere who is the victim of some kind of violent crime in the process of the stuff being grown and transported to my dealer. There's always some opportunistic asshole who is prepared to commit a violent crime to secure possession of the drug or the proceeds of the drug so I have to abstain. That's the only real reason I have decided to quit. For humanitarian reasons so I can have a clear conscience that I am not harming anyone by funding crime. But, hell yeah. It's tough not letting myself smoke it anymore. It feels like a great loss and I have been dealing with that loss today...I miss it dearly. Hope I haven't bored you all. I don't know if this makes it worse or easier, but there's whole 'legal' crime rackets involved in the production of chocolate, certain fruits, petroleum products, clothing, electronics, etc. People get enslaved, robbed, injured, and even killed by these industries. I know what you mean. It's like a circular argument, I can never think of a good reason to quit. All I know is it's illegal so I probably shouldn't do it. Besides, I don't like sneaking around trying to hide the smell from my neighbours or hide it from my parents. I think I'm just a bit ashamed of it and I want to quit. Also it is an addiction in many ways and quite hard to control and I want to break the habit and take back control of my life.
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ben545
Member
MOTM March '16 - Banned
“If you ever need anything please don’t hesitate to ask someone else first.” Kurt Cobain
Join Date: Jun 28, 2015 9:36:36 GMT
Posts: 2,834
Likes: 2,899
Location: Birmingham
Last Online: Mar 12, 2022 8:49:47 GMT
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Post by ben545 on Jul 29, 2019 19:07:59 GMT
Really struggling today to not go out and buy some cannabis on my day off. I love everything about cannabis. Some people can't stand the smell or it makes them paranoid and they don't like it. I love the smell of cannabis, I feel more paranoid when I don't smoke it. I love going to visit my dealer who is always in a jolly mood as if he has the best job in the world. I love all the rastafarian culture that comes along with my rasta dealer. I love getting my bag of weed back home, putting it in the grinder and grinding it up so it all fluffs up and seems to double in size. I love loading up a pipe and smoking it and waiting for the slow onset of being stoned to take effect. Then when I'm stoned it feels like a life enhancing experience. Life feels better stoned. I love doing anything stoned, it makes me happy. I don't feel lonely or needy in any way. I just feel satisfied and happy. I can go out on my bike and sit in the park watching the world go by or watch TV at home. I can do anything and I'm happy and thankful for the free time I have away from work but unfortunately I've had to give all of that up.... Yep! It's illegal and condemned by society so I have to give it up. It funds crime and unfortunately there's probably some poor bastard somewhere who is the victim of some kind of violent crime in the process of the stuff being grown and transported to my dealer. There's always some opportunistic asshole who is prepared to commit a violent crime to secure possession of the drug or the proceeds of the drug so I have to abstain. That's the only real reason I have decided to quit. For humanitarian reasons so I can have a clear conscience that I am not harming anyone by funding crime. But, hell yeah. It's tough not letting myself smoke it anymore. It feels like a great loss and I have been dealing with that loss today...I miss it dearly. Hope I haven't bored you all.
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ben545
Member
MOTM March '16 - Banned
“If you ever need anything please don’t hesitate to ask someone else first.” Kurt Cobain
Join Date: Jun 28, 2015 9:36:36 GMT
Posts: 2,834
Likes: 2,899
Location: Birmingham
Last Online: Mar 12, 2022 8:49:47 GMT
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Post by ben545 on Jul 26, 2019 20:26:37 GMT
It would probably have to be something really good though. It would have to not just musically be a good album but it would need to have some decent amount of commercial success and critical acclaim. As I said, they only nominate a handful of artists/songs/albums. It’s got to stand out. It can’t just be “good.” That’s why LG got nominated, because it was a huge album. And yet she still didn’t win. I don’t think it really matters whether or not she’ll ever win a Grammy anyway. Many artists have never won and these days the decisions they’ve made haven’t always been objectively the best. "It would probably have to be something really good though." Why don't you just admit it. Avril lacks ambition. The only reason that this album isn't going to be a major success is because Avril didn't want it to be. Plenty of other female artists carry on being major successes but for whatever reason (maybe her illness) Avril just doesn't really care. That's the truth of the matter. She's happy doing her charity work or stuff for good causes and her fashion business thing and isn't a major contender anymore musically.
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ben545
Member
MOTM March '16 - Banned
“If you ever need anything please don’t hesitate to ask someone else first.” Kurt Cobain
Join Date: Jun 28, 2015 9:36:36 GMT
Posts: 2,834
Likes: 2,899
Location: Birmingham
Last Online: Mar 12, 2022 8:49:47 GMT
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Post by ben545 on Jul 26, 2019 16:36:37 GMT
ben545 Hay fever is a pain in the ass! I have it myself but have medication for it. During the season I take 1 pill every evening. It is quite effective tho! Thanks Jinkxx . Turns out I had a cold, not hay fever. I just felt like shit and got confused. Been to work straight through a bad cold for 2 days. lol! Sounds like it's been crazy hot in Holland. I ride a bike and I'm vegan so don't blame climate change on me, just need a "passive house" now.
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ben545
Member
MOTM March '16 - Banned
“If you ever need anything please don’t hesitate to ask someone else first.” Kurt Cobain
Join Date: Jun 28, 2015 9:36:36 GMT
Posts: 2,834
Likes: 2,899
Location: Birmingham
Last Online: Mar 12, 2022 8:49:47 GMT
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Post by ben545 on Jul 25, 2019 19:02:58 GMT
Way too hot at work today with no air conditioning. Can't work out if I have a cold or just hay fever. Feel really ill.
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ben545
Member
MOTM March '16 - Banned
“If you ever need anything please don’t hesitate to ask someone else first.” Kurt Cobain
Join Date: Jun 28, 2015 9:36:36 GMT
Posts: 2,834
Likes: 2,899
Location: Birmingham
Last Online: Mar 12, 2022 8:49:47 GMT
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Post by ben545 on Jul 24, 2019 12:09:13 GMT
Lying on my couch trying to muster the energy to do all my chores for the day.
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ben545
Member
MOTM March '16 - Banned
“If you ever need anything please don’t hesitate to ask someone else first.” Kurt Cobain
Join Date: Jun 28, 2015 9:36:36 GMT
Posts: 2,834
Likes: 2,899
Location: Birmingham
Last Online: Mar 12, 2022 8:49:47 GMT
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Post by ben545 on Jul 23, 2019 8:28:48 GMT
My friend Steve.
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ben545
Member
MOTM March '16 - Banned
“If you ever need anything please don’t hesitate to ask someone else first.” Kurt Cobain
Join Date: Jun 28, 2015 9:36:36 GMT
Posts: 2,834
Likes: 2,899
Location: Birmingham
Last Online: Mar 12, 2022 8:49:47 GMT
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Post by ben545 on Jul 20, 2019 16:29:53 GMT
Voted!
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ben545
Member
MOTM March '16 - Banned
“If you ever need anything please don’t hesitate to ask someone else first.” Kurt Cobain
Join Date: Jun 28, 2015 9:36:36 GMT
Posts: 2,834
Likes: 2,899
Location: Birmingham
Last Online: Mar 12, 2022 8:49:47 GMT
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Post by ben545 on Jul 19, 2019 19:36:13 GMT
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ben545
Member
MOTM March '16 - Banned
“If you ever need anything please don’t hesitate to ask someone else first.” Kurt Cobain
Join Date: Jun 28, 2015 9:36:36 GMT
Posts: 2,834
Likes: 2,899
Location: Birmingham
Last Online: Mar 12, 2022 8:49:47 GMT
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Post by ben545 on Jul 19, 2019 16:58:19 GMT
Am I abnormal? Does no-one else like a drink now and again? I honestly couldn't envisage life without alcohol. Anyway, I still feel terrible today. Had my parents come and visit me and I'm unable to eat anything at the moment. Just feel restless around them. Can't relax. Sweating profusely for no reason, hungry but I don't know what to eat. Tomorrow will be a better day I'm sure. Oh I like a drink once in a while but when they forbid alcohol I wouldn't have a problem with it tho. I don't like that hangover feel so I never have that, I know when I have to stop. Also I drink mostly a lot of water beside my alcoholic beverage. Otherwise is my mouth too sticky and I hate that so mostly after 2 glasses of alcohol I always drink a glass of water. A bit tipsy is enough for me, not that hangover thing I feel.... exhausted. Finally weekend after tomorrow and tomorrow will be a very busy busy day at work.. I worry that I come across as someone who doesn't care about anything but I only don't care about anything for two days a week when I get drunk. I was stressing over being invited to a group Facebook chat by my friend Abigail and the people on there are really abusive and horrible. Makes me appreciate this forum more because it is moderated and you don't have to put up with abusive, bigoted behaviour. I'm not sure I want to be Abigail's friend anymore judging by who she hangs out with.
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ben545
Member
MOTM March '16 - Banned
“If you ever need anything please don’t hesitate to ask someone else first.” Kurt Cobain
Join Date: Jun 28, 2015 9:36:36 GMT
Posts: 2,834
Likes: 2,899
Location: Birmingham
Last Online: Mar 12, 2022 8:49:47 GMT
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Post by ben545 on Jul 17, 2019 19:42:38 GMT
Feel a bit better. Awkward social situation has subsided.
One of my favourite quotes from Rihanna's Twitter feed: tough times don't last, tough people do.
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ben545
Member
MOTM March '16 - Banned
“If you ever need anything please don’t hesitate to ask someone else first.” Kurt Cobain
Join Date: Jun 28, 2015 9:36:36 GMT
Posts: 2,834
Likes: 2,899
Location: Birmingham
Last Online: Mar 12, 2022 8:49:47 GMT
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Post by ben545 on Jul 17, 2019 17:57:36 GMT
Good point, I guess the present is more important than the past or future, "there's no time like the present".
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ben545
Member
MOTM March '16 - Banned
“If you ever need anything please don’t hesitate to ask someone else first.” Kurt Cobain
Join Date: Jun 28, 2015 9:36:36 GMT
Posts: 2,834
Likes: 2,899
Location: Birmingham
Last Online: Mar 12, 2022 8:49:47 GMT
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Post by ben545 on Jul 17, 2019 12:58:39 GMT
As far as charts go, she definitely cares. I don’t think there’s any artist that is like “I really hope this doesn’t chart.” I don’t think she cares about them to the extent that she is willing to follow trends, feature popular artists, or work with hitmakers just to get a hit song she isn’t truly passionate about. I think first and foremost she will always do the kind of music she wants, and if it does well, it’s an added bonus. But she isn’t the type of person to sacrifice her vision for the sake of getting a hit. But that also isn’t to say she doesn’t care at all about charts either. This is exactly what I was trying to express Bogo.
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ben545
Member
MOTM March '16 - Banned
“If you ever need anything please don’t hesitate to ask someone else first.” Kurt Cobain
Join Date: Jun 28, 2015 9:36:36 GMT
Posts: 2,834
Likes: 2,899
Location: Birmingham
Last Online: Mar 12, 2022 8:49:47 GMT
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Post by ben545 on Jul 17, 2019 9:40:04 GMT
Still feel a bit stressed. Why are some people just assholes for no reason? I just don't understand that kind of behaviour these days. The trick is not to stoop to their level. Truth should prevail.
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ben545
Member
MOTM March '16 - Banned
“If you ever need anything please don’t hesitate to ask someone else first.” Kurt Cobain
Join Date: Jun 28, 2015 9:36:36 GMT
Posts: 2,834
Likes: 2,899
Location: Birmingham
Last Online: Mar 12, 2022 8:49:47 GMT
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Post by ben545 on Jul 17, 2019 8:29:37 GMT
I've checked out of the Chad is evil discussion. "Everyones got an opinion but I don't care🎶 oh oh oh Are we not going to talk about the intro? I really liked the choir type of singing. Her voice is lovely. Like an angel. I wish it was a little longer. I also really liked the red dress with Zane. It reminded me of little red ridding hood. Chad isn't evil, he's a nice guy. I still don't know why they split up. I honestly thought they'd be together for life. I feel a bit sorry for him if anything that Avril just got up and left for no reason apparently. I admit the intro is done very professionally. It's done really well and captures your interest.
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